5 Movies That You Already Knew Were Going to Suck

You ever see a trailer for a movie and right off the bat you just think to yourself "Aw man that is going to suck balls"? Well I have. At least once a year I find myself saying that after viewing a new trailer. These are the top five movies that you knew were going to suck just by watching the trailer

5. Pompeii (2014)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6TRwfxDICM

When I set out to write this entry, I originally just wanted to talk about Pompeii. Let's be honest, you already know that it is going to suck. When you take into account that it is essentially a Gladiator rip off directed by the guy who brought us Resident Evil, Alien vs. Predator and another of today's contenders (we'll get to that later), the only difference is that everybody dies at the end. And if they don't then this movie will be total bullshit. Even if they do, it'll still be bullshit. I'm sorry, but I thought the genre of tragic romance set during a well known historical event (a la Titanic) died with Michael Bay's Pearl Harbor? 

4. Pain and Gain (2013)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEQ8jyvmYtw

To be honest, I kinda wanted to see Pain and Gain when I first saw the trailer. Sure, Michael Bay was the director but it looked entertaining. But then I learned that it was based on a true story... A fairly recent true story... That people still remember... And he is painting the villains as being funny and relatable... And they're the protagonists... Do I need to go on?

3. The Three Musketeers (2011)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38an1IAG1TA

Remember earlier how I said that the director of Pompeii directed another dead-on-arrival movie? Well, here's the second specimen. Now, I haven't read the book in a long time, but I'm sure I would have remembered flying pirate ships had they been there.

2. After Earth (2013)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZIt20emgLY

Here's a little piece of trivia, this is the first M. Night Shyamalan movie to not have M. Night Shyamalan's name at the beginning or anywhere in the trailer. Even The Last Airbender had his name in there because it was his way of showing how much of a fan of the show he was. Okay, here's a little tip, if you want to know how much of a fan he truly is, ask somebody who is really a fan of the show what they think of that movie. Moving on to After Earth, if you want to know why this movie sucked, you only have to look at the two main leads. Jaden Smith, who doesn't know how to act, and Will Smith who knows how to act, but I guess decided to give it up for lent. Maybe he didn't want his son to feel bad. Now of course we all know the movie itself sucks for so many other reasons than just that, but you had to actually pay and see the movie to discover that, we're here to talk about why it sucked from the trailer.

1. Battleship (2012)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsieadPPvJE

I had a whole rant written out as to why I knew Battleship was going to suck. If I remember correctly, the phrase "What the fuck does this have to do with Battleship?" came up quite a bit. It honestly hurt to see Liam Neeson in this movie. And to borrow a bit from Cinemasins on Youtube, they took the most badass actor in this movie with the most credibility of anybody involved and have him stand on the sidelines for the entire movie. The most ass that he kicks is forcefully hang up a phone on a superior. And this is coming from a man who fought wolves with his bare hands in the Alaskan wilderness only months prior. Also, Rihanna.