It’s a
familiar feeling isn’t it? The feeling of reliving your childhood as an adult.
It can be a pleasant feeling, but it can also be deceiving. Just because an old
friend is coming back to say hi doesn’t mean that they are always going to be
there with the best news, or the best intentions.
Okay, I
know that may have sounded like an odd warning of Cold War like paranoia, but
it’s an important thing to keep in mind when it comes to the watching of
Jurassic World, along with several other upcoming movies including Terminator,
Star Wars and Batman v Superman. Think back to when you first saw Indiana Jones
and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Remember how excited we all were for it?
Our parents saw the original three when they were either growing up or in
college, and we got to grow up with the adventures of the gun-toting
archaeologist. Honestly, I’m hard pressed to think of a person who wouldn’t be
excited to see a new Indiana Jones. I remember remarking as we sat down in the
theater how I had been waiting since I was 5 to actually see an Indiana Jones
movie in the theaters. Our parents were excited to see it on the big screen
again and we were excited to see it on the big screen for the first time…
Until we actually saw it. Yeah…. I
remember seeing it with my dad on his birthday and afterwards neither of us
really knew what to make of it. I actually wanted to fool myself into thinking
it was a good movie. Now that I think about it, I actually went into the
grieving process after I saw Crystal Skull. I denied that it was a bad movie,
thinking maybe it was a bad dream and that the real movie was on the way, I
grew angry that it even existed, I bargained with God about being a better
person for perhaps getting a better version of the movie, then I just got
really freaking depressed that my childhood dream had been ruined, and now
after extensive therapy, I have finally come to terms with it. I don’t own it,
nor do I ever wish to watch it again, but that’s okay. I can’t control it, I can
only control my own feelings.
But I digress. My point being that
when we all go to see Jurassic World next Friday, it is important that we
remember the feelings we had when we saw Crystal Skull. After going through
that colossal let down we need to remember to not get ourselves overly hyped,
because it could turn out to suck and we could all end up back in therapy.
However, on the flip side it’s also important to take into account that just
because we shouldn’t get our hopes up, doesn’t mean that we should expect it to
suck, because then the movie could suck, but not nearly as much as we thought
it would, so we are going to pass it off as a good movie. That’s called letting
them off the hook and we can’t do that when our collective childhood hangs in
the balance.
Fortunately for Jurassic World,
there have already been two sequels, the opinions of which range from “meh” to “full
on shotgun diarrhea” as one of my friends put it. How he knows what that feels
like is beyond me, but I won’t be going to him for dieting advice. Having said
that, Jurassic World doesn’t have the highest of high expectations to live up
to, just the highest of high hopes that we won’t get to see a raptor get
gymnastic-kicked out a window.
At the same time, we need to also
give the film makers the benefit of the doubt. The director and writers worked
hard to come up with an original story to tell that doesn’t just piggy back off
of the first movie. When asked why the original characters, such as Grant
Satler and Malcolm wouldn’t be in this movie, Colin Trevorow said that the only
reason they would go back to the island is if the writers came up with a lame
ass reason for them to come back. He also said that Jurassic Park is ultimately
about the consequences of using science to tamper with nature, a la
Frankenstein, (remember the quote “life finds a way”) but with the original
characters thrown back into the mix, it would just be a story about the shitty
luck of these three people. You see that right there shows that the studio didn’t
just pick a name out of a hat, they went with a fan who knew what the story was
and what it wasn’t. And the idea that they created original characters to
continue the story is just further evidence of that.
Alright, I know that I am giving you some conflicting messages here, so let's just get to my ultimate point. Here are the three things you need to do before you go to see Jurassic World.
1.
Calm down- as you are waiting in line at the
theater, take some time to calm your mind. The more calm you are, the more able
you will be to view the movie fairly.
2.
Don’t watch all three to get caught up- If you
want to refamiliarize yourself with the story, then just watch the first one,
because based on what I’ve seen in the trailers and the imdb synopsis, the
first one seems to be the only one to take into account, seeing as they only
mention the original theme park, but not the incident in San Diego or that
other incident involving the other island where a bunch of pterodactyls
escaped. If those events were taken into account, I don’t think anybody in the
world would be open to the idea of a dinosaur theme park.
3.
Learn to leave reality at the door- already, I’ve
heard criticism about how unrealistic the idea of creating hybrid dinosaurs is,
or the idea that Chris Pratt has trained a squad of Raptors. First off, fuck
you, because having trained raptors is badass. Secondly, how grounded in
reality are you expecting a movie to be when it’s already involved taking a
tiny sample of million-year-old DNA out of a fossilized mosquito who has still
remained intact all this time, and using it to create dinosaurs, without the
governments of the world investigating or trying to shut the park down, or for
them to not have protests from hippies about dinosaurs’ rights? Or the
governments of the world or terrorist groups trying to turn these beasts into engines of war? See,
already you have had to suspend your disbelief just a little bit. As for the
raptors thing, yeah they are the deadliest creatures and one of the smartest
animals to have ever existed, but dolphins are pretty damn smart too, and look
at the stuff people are making them do at Sea World. It’s kind of humiliating
when you think about it. Using raptors as your personal motorcycle hunting
posse seems like they are getting away unscathed.
No comments:
Post a Comment